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Thankful for a new entitlement program?

What a round of meetings last week in the White House about solving the looming “fiscal cliff.” Union leaders came there Tuesday. CEOs from big corporations were invited in on Wednesday (no small businessmen invited). Why, I’ll bet there was even a delegation from Hollywood packed in there one day.

While solving the “cliff” remains elusive, the good news is President Obama summoned reporters to the Rose Garden this morning to announce his newest entitlement initiative, telling the media it’s a bold and even more beneficial move than Obamacare.

The president has issued another executive order (No. 4283 — yes, he holds the record). It says that effective Jan. 1 the administration’s motto for his second term will be “Live and Let’s Boat … a Boat for Every Family!”

As one might expect, the press (well, maybe not Fox) just ate it up. “This is even bigger than forgiving student loan interest,” cheered one reporter. “Beats saving the auto industry,” called out another. And, to no one’s surprise, MSNBC’s Chris Matthews, doing flips on the White House grass, proclaimed “Oh, this is Santa Claus at his best!”

“Mr. President, does this mean everyone gets a free boat?” pressed a reporter, probably from the Weekly Standard. “Well, not exactly,” responded the president, “what I mean is everyone who makes less than $250,000. See, here’s the thing: I wouldn’t think of increasing the deficit more, so I’m making this ‘revenue neutral’ by ordering an automatic payroll deduction on anyone making more than $250,000 to pay for the boats for those making less. I think those making over $250,000 will want to pay just a little more so everyone can have a boat.”

But wait — the good news doesn’t stop there. To focus even more of a spotlight on boats the executive order also provides that anyone who makes it to the shores of the U.S. in a boat will again be called “boat people” and they will receive automatic citizenship, immediately qualifying them for their own boat.

“This is immigration reform and economic stimulus all rolled into one,” beamed Senate leader Harry Reid.

House minority leader Nancy Pelosi was equally insightful: “If it were a bill, I’d be for passing it right away … so we could find out what’s in it. But since it’s an executive order,” she added, “I’m all for it because that’s how we can conduct good representative government here in Washington.”

Lastly, representative or not, it’s obvious this blogger is in a satirical mood today. But, let’s face it, stranger things have happened — or could happen.

Meanwhile, Happy Thanksgiving.



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